The Path to Wholeness: Overcoming Shame and Reclaiming Our Authenticity

The Christian interpretation of the story of Mary, Joseph, and the Garden of Eden has shaped how we view ourselves, particularly through the lens of shame. The narrative of Adam and Eve’s "fall" has long been understood as the origin of sin—an event that stained human nature with guilt. This story paints human beings as inherently flawed, born into a state of shame simply for being human.

Such a perspective has created a deep disconnection from the natural, instinctual parts of ourselves. For centuries, we’ve been taught to see our desires, our sexuality, and even the most basic aspects of our bodies as sinful or wrong. This view creates a fracture in how we relate to our own existence, stripping us of the sense that our being is sacred.

In this paradigm, self-acceptance can feel like an impossible dream. Our simplest needs—whether they be emotional, physical, or sexual—carry the weight of being "wrong," leaving us in a constant state of self-judgment. We carry the burden of believing that to be human is to be flawed, and that deep sense of shame can shadow us in ways that impact our ability to fully embrace and accept who we are.

This narrative, passed down through generations, can leave us feeling estranged from ourselves—our bodies, our desires, and our very humanity. Reclaiming our connection to our bodies and the inherent goodness of being human is a powerful and necessary step in healing from this cultural and spiritual disconnect.

My teacher, Jalaja Bonheim, author of Aphrodite’s Daughters and other works, speaks deeply to this disconnect, shedding light on how the traditional biblical interpretation has severed our connection to the wisdom and vitality of our bodies—the very intuitive aspects of ourselves that are sacred and linked to the divine. When we view the human body and its desires through the lens of sin, we are taught to distrust our bodies, our feelings, and our instincts. Instead of seeing our desires as natural, sacred expressions of being human, we internalize shame, pushing us further away from our deeper selves. We begin to believe that parts of our essence—our sensuality, our creativity, our intuition—are "unholy," and this leads to self-rejection and emotional fragmentation. The sacredness of being a full, embodied human becomes lost under the weight of guilt and disconnection.

This separation from the body and its needs extends beyond our sexuality—it spills over into how we relate to our emotions and spirituality. With this lens of sin, emotions that are seen as "messy" or "imperfect," like anger, sadness, and desire, are repressed or denied. Instead of letting these emotions flow freely and reveal the wisdom they hold, we shut them down. This creates a rift within us—a constant tension between our inner truth and the external expectations placed upon us. As a result, emotional repression takes root, a pattern that damages us spiritually and psychologically, making us feel disconnected not just from our bodies, but from our essence and from our connection to the divine.

Bonheim also emphasizes how this view of human nature—as intrinsically flawed and disconnected from the divine—has a unique and profound impact on women. The story of Mary and Joseph, when framed as a tale of guilt and shame, has long reinforced the suppression of feminine energy, intuition, and creativity. Women, historically and across many traditions, have been taught to repress their innate sensuality and spiritual power, often seeing themselves as “fallen” or “unworthy” because of societal and religious teachings. This narrative diminishes the feminine as sacred, intuitive, and whole, reinforcing feelings of inadequacy and self-judgment. Bonheim's work, especially in reclaiming the mandala, offers a way back to wholeness—a path that invites us to embrace the fullness of our being, unapologetically honoring our desires, sensuality, and connection to the divine. In doing so, we reclaim our power and vitality, shedding the shame that has held us back.