Why Sexual Boundaries Matter So Much In The Work

It is ALWAYS the therapists' responsibility to hold the sexual boundary in psychotherapy. Why? Because some clients WILL test the boundary of the therapeutic container. Partly because many people have never had a relationship with a person who had some kind of power over them where boundaries were consistent and clear. They may subtly overshare, flirt or provoke or even withdraw as they feel out the edges of the container.

Second, past trauma—especially around abandonment, neglect, or abuse—can lead people to recreate familiar dynamics, even if they're harmful. For example: “If I break the rules, will you punish me? Shame me? Leave me?”“Will you cross the line like others did?”

Altered states heighten vulnerability and projection even more. Boundary testing in this context is often a way of trying to locate self and other, to ground identity within the vastness of the expansion of oneself. Especially in the context of psychedelic-assisted therapy, emotional and energetic boundaries are even more crucial.

When someone is in a deeply altered state—like in psilocybin work—they’re incredibly open, sensitive, and trusting. That vulnerability is sacred. As a guide, it’s my responsibility to hold that space with absolute clarity and integrity. That includes naming upfront long before a journey happens: this is a space of healing, not romance, not sexuality. There will never ever be a sexual connection between us, or between me and anyone that you know in your personal life, and that boundary protects both of us. It’s not about rejection—it’s about safety.

Without solid ground, nothing real can grow. I will not go on a tangent about this, but you would not believe the horror stories I have heard about psychedelic "guides" sleeping with patients, patients ex partners, the list goes on and on.

🌱 Why it matters even more in psilocybin work:

Heightened sensitivity: The medicine opens the heart, dissolves ego, and blurs personal boundaries. This makes people more susceptible to projection and confusion between emotional/spiritual intimacy and sexual connection.

Power dynamic amplified: Even if it wasn't expressed, the guide may feel like a lifeline, a parent, a deity. Abuse of that trust would be exponentially more damaging.

Integration depends on trust: Long-term healing only happens when the container was truly safe. A sexual undercurrent—real or perceived—destabilizes that foundation.

If a client tests the boundary, the therapist needs to respond in a calm, rather than shaming way, holding the boundaries firmly but gently. Rather than create a story about the client, the therapist can see it as an opportunity to deepen trust: “I see you. I’m here. The container holds. You are safe.”