Sex therapy, when approached with compassion and mindfulness, can be profoundly transformative. Books like Buddha’s Bedroom and The Soul of Sex highlight the importance of creating a safe, non-judgmental space for individuals and couples to explore their sexuality openly—without fear, shame, or the need to perform. The journey begins by attuning to the body and emotions, allowing clients to embrace their true desires, fears, and needs. It’s about showing up authentically—not just for sex, but for all the deeper parts of ourselves.
In Buddha’s Bedroom, mindfulness is key. It’s not about doing, but about being. Through mindfulness, clients can release the anxiety and shame that often accompany sexual experiences. Instead of rushing through or avoiding discomfort, mindfulness helps us move into those moments with awareness and compassion. This creates a deeper connection with both our bodies and our partners, making sex a healing, integrative experience rather than just a physical act.
In contrast, Thomas Moore’s The Soul of Sex invites us to see sex as more than a physical experience—it’s a sacred expression of the soul’s yearning for connection. This shift in perspective transforms sex therapy into a spiritual journey, where intimacy becomes a path of awakening. By honoring sex as a powerful and sacred energy, clients can reconnect with the deeper, soulful dimensions of their sexuality, moving beyond mere dysfunction to embrace the fullness of their erotic selves.
Ultimately, true sexual healing, as Moore teaches, involves exploring the emotional, psychological, and spiritual layers beneath desire. It’s about understanding how our beliefs, values, and past experiences shape our sexuality and our connections with others. This journey isn’t just about clearing blockages, but about remembering and reclaiming the sacredness of intimacy in its fullest expression.

Like many of Thomas Moore’s works, The Soul of Sex is one you’ll return to time and again, each reading revealing new insights. It’s not just a book—it’s a transformative practice, shifting the way we think about intimacy, connection, and the sacredness of our erotic energy.
A key aspect of sex therapy, inspired by Buddha’s Bedroom and The Soul of Sex, is healing emotional wounds that may block sexual expression. In Buddha’s Bedroom, Cheryl Fraser focuses on emotional freedom, encouraging individuals to unpack emotional baggage from past trauma or unhealthy patterns. By addressing these wounds, clients can create a healthier relationship with their sexuality. Similarly, Moore explores sexual soul wounds, deep emotional scars that prevent full intimacy. Therapists help clients heal through empathy and emotional release, guiding them toward more connected sexual experiences.
Another critical theme in both books is enhancing communication between partners. Sex is not just about physical pleasure—it’s about creating a space where both individuals feel heard and respected. Therapy helps couples explore desires, boundaries, and emotional needs, building trust and intimacy. As Buddha’s Bedroom suggests, sex can be a powerful channel for emotional connection, and improving communication fosters vulnerability and trust.
At the heart of both works is sexual empowerment, a topic especially close to my heart. Both books encourage individuals to reclaim their sexual autonomy and honor their desires. Therapy offers a space to challenge societal messages that distort our sexual identities. The goal is to help clients rediscover sexual confidence and explore their sexuality authentically, creating a deeper connection with themselves and their partners. If you’re ready to explore sex therapy as a sacred, life-affirming journey, these books are a perfect starting point.

(By the way, Cheryl Fraser is from Vancouver Island! I don’t think we always realize just how many amazing psychotherapists are living right here!)
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